just click and add =D

i recently cut my hair. so now i wear extentions. Before i DIDNT. ever. I used to be too cheap to buy them. SO please dont comment under my pictures OMG! fake hair...or something equally ridiculous. Yes i sometimes wear fake eyelashes, but must you point it out in every picture? It doesnt change who i am does it? i used to think looks where everything but there are people with actual brain that like work well for them and they have everything they need. Looks arent everything. On buzznet people just fix themselves up to get loads of comments. i dont really care, i dont live off of this website(i live off of facebook :P, im completely kidding) so really it doesnt matter what you think.

now my eyes. think what you want, i really couldnt give less a shit.

So please, just stop being complete losers are critisizing people for how they make their pictures look. it isnt worth it. and i'm not saying this is done to me or anything, i;ve just seen it alot and its really pointless. Let them be, however they want to be, its only Internet. None of it is real. especially with all the fakes going around now (you can comment under their FAKE pictures XD)

[sorry if i offended anyone, i really didnt mean to.]

be yourself.

when i was 8 years old i was watching a fashion show with my mother and she kept telling me how those girls have it made and ever since then i wanted to be one, but with this cursed body i dont think i can. by the way they dont have it made, they struggle with their weight also, and they have people telling them, pressuring them all the time. i bet its easier. with people helping you to be skinny i mean. Anyway, i want to loose every ounce of loard on my body, sure its probably dnot going to be possible but im going to try.

the starvation begins in 2 days.

i really believe i can do it. especially with school everyday. weekends are going to be a bitch though. looking back on last year, i used to hate weekends, try and make plans with who ever i could because i cant eat infront of people, havent been able to since i was 11, i dont know why thats just how messed up i am.

Sure, some people tell me im already perfect, fine, skinny, whatever. but think about it, if a fat person asked you if they were fat you wouldnt say yes would you? no exactly you wouldnt, so how do i know when someone is lying to me. i dont like having to live with this on my mind every second of every day. it takes over my mind, and like possesses me. getting dressed in the morning is a nightmare. everything i put on makes me look like a whale.

the sad thing is i even feel like a whale when i dont eat. and family dinners... well, they make me want to slit my wrists again. the other day my friend told me that i could have died from drinking 12 glasses of water straight. i was honestly only doing it to flush out toxins from my body and fill me up so i wouldnt eat, but now that i know it could kill me because of like osmosis or something, everytime i go to get a drink of water it crosses my mind...maybe just a few more glasses and ill be out of this nightmare.

a year ago i stole my moms diet pills. they worked. they were about an inch long and blue, but i felt they called to me. i got caught, when i left for camp they went through my drawers. by they i mean my entire family. fucking bastards.

in march i faighted twice. lack of food, and high blood pressure i was told. sometimes i wish i had never caled my dad from that snowy park, i wish i could have known what would have happened. every night i go to bed crying about my appreance, telling myself  'tomorrow you wont eat anything you cow.'. thats basically how i live everyday. suffering. FAT.

it seems like everone has facebook now, whats the big deal? So i was just wondering what people on buzznet think of facebook.

oh and by the way, my camp is a SCIENCE camp, thats how nerdy i am. tehe

I hate you jess

I hate your dress

The size

My eyes

They burn

In the fire

Extinguished

Gold silver bronze

Last place

Ashamed face

Empty track alone

I hate to choose

I hate to loose

Win

Tie

Forfeit

Exacto knife

Razor blade

Slit wrists

So afraid

Wanting loneliness

Yet fearing it

Unsure

Hearing it

Trees

Branches

Needles

Leaves

For once I don’t hate

Numbers

Lumber

Cucumber

Here it goes again

Beauty

Perfection

Facemask

Objection

Judge

Law

Jail

Execution

Bring him back

It won’t happen

Unless you go for him

Pin up rip down

Push him in the oven

Max heat

Burning

The cremations starting

Creepy feeling

Kicking, crying, heaving

Illegal driving, smoking, flying

High above the ceiling

Good pain bad pain

Whipped, beten, pleading

Lampshade, readymade

Follow instructions to assemble

Piece by piece, gentle, careful

Snap, split, bang, crack

Coke snorted, heaven

Uptown, downtown

What a bitch, a scary clown

Bitter coffee, sour candy,

All disgusting, sickatating

Live strong diehard

Untrue life’s hard

Too tough had enough

Good intentions bad stuff

Drugs butter, crisps blubber

Food fame

Motherfucker

Lover love her loved her fuck her

Leave her forget her

Funeral; 6 years later

Regret

Doesn’t matter

Pretty sick patter

Think ahead, smash your head

Car crash, fire, 911, wires

Water doesn’t mix

Deep beep

Electrocute

Not so cute

I have ballet

I hate my body

Face

Nose

Attitude

I hate my social life

My paranoia

My obsessions

I hate my cravings

My arguments with myself

My attention

I hate my height

I hate my worries

My problems

My room

My guts, thighs, tits

My groom

I hate food

Overwhelming, tempting, calling you.

Get out you fucking shits you ruined my life

My brain

My sights

Distorted images

Such a fright

Stick legs. Rib cage

Soap and rubber

Flat surface, everglades

Bumps, rapids, water

I hate cities

I hate countries

Towns

Farms

Suburbs

I hate here

I hate there

Home

Europe

Russia

I hate weeds

Flowers

Honey cut off the roses

Peace, war, love, hate

Japan, Iraq, Rwanda

Friends, enemies, teachers, family

Best friends, backstab, secrets

Alone inside

Dry eyes

Arizona, Texas, New Mexico

Hips, bangs, waist, layers

Mohawks, mullets, highlights

I hate looks I hate judges

Boats

Airplanes

Cars

Safe trains, public transport

Strong legs and a heavy heart

Yellow orange

Blue green

Black white

Freezing

I hate heat

I hate cold

Never satisfied

Getting old

Math science history religion

Forced to think these things happen

Left right up down east west

Stop, drown

Inhale exhale, water, shovel sand pale

With grandpa there she goes

Sand snow cones

Float, sink drift swim

Sunblock, sunglasses, sunlamp, son

Brother, father, sister, mother

Around the corner

Down a hole

I hate violence

I hate death

Blood

Screaming

Cops

Knife

Gunshot wound to the head

Fatal.

Dead.

Niece, nephew, aunt, uncle

Gathered together in a circle

6,7,8,9

Medication time

1 too many, 2 too many, 3, 4, 19, 20

Midnight

No light

Liver failure

No point no fight

She hates me I hate him he hates her she hates him

D.O.G.

G.O.D

L.S.D.

P.C.P.

Mushrooms, peppers, onions, letters

Hate mail, love string,

Attached to my wrist

Remembering

Bangles, bracelets, necklace, chocker

Choke her, leave her, miss her, need her

Laugh, cry

Joke, whine

He’s fine, there fine

A bottle of wine,

1 more, 2 more,

Out the secrets pour

1 truth, 2 truths

I more, 3 friends no more

Believe me I hate thee

But most of all, I hate me.